I decide.

I’ve come to find truth in the phrase “It’s all in your head.”

For me, the principle of agency ties in with “It’s all in your head.”

In past years, I’ve had bad days, good days, days I feel mixed up. *("Tough kids, sissy kids, kids who climb on rocks.”) And I’ve discovered that those days were bad days because I chose that they were bad days. I decided that those good days were good days. “It was all in my head.” I chose to feel miserable. I’m not saying that’s not ok. I think everyone needs melancholy days. *“Everybody has problems. Everybody has bad times. Do we sacrifice the good times because of them? No.” Once upon a time someone said “It takes bad days to appreciate the good days.” I have stopped using the phrase “Bad day” because it’s all a choice. It's like the *"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." "Eleanor Roosevelt said that." If it’s a bad day, it’s because you’re looking at it that way. Instead I use “Hard days” because I do believe that things happen and the days that follow after, can be hard because of whatever happened. I know this because I’ve been dealing with it.

Something happened to me a couple months ago, that made the hard days start to outweigh the happy days. Things weren’t going my way and I started to get really frustrated with the way things were happening. Finally, I started to become miserable, and just done with everything. I became tired. I became irritated. I was so done with talking about it. I was tired of all the questions. I was tired of people feeling bad for me. So yesterday was my last hard day for a while. Hopefully. Today I woke up, got ready, looked in the mirror before I left for work and said “Today is going to be a good day baby. I’m gonna be happy. I look pretty good. My hair worked really well and I’m going to feel great today.”

I also wrote my positive affirmation down once I got to work. Here are a few snippets.

REALIZE

“I’m going to stop wallowing in this. I’ve got to get over it, because it’s bringing me down and I hate being down.”

GOAL

 “I’m through with being miserable. I want to be happy again. And I’ve decided that I can be happy again.”

COMMIT

“So here is my commitment to go back to my old self. My happy, perky, delightful self. Not the one whom everyone is worried about. Not the one who gets all the questions. I want to be the light now. So many people have shared their light and friendship with me the past couple months, and now I want it to be my turn again. It’s my time to serve others and make others happy. Because I know that by doing that, I can find my happiness again. Already I feel so much better.”

And let me tell you.

TODAY HAS BEEN A GOOD DAY.

I laughed today. 

(Not that I haven't laughed at all the past two months. I laugh every day. But I laugh at things. Today it was for the best reason of all.)

I laughed out loud, at nothing today. As I walked to my car from the institute building, the wind blowing my hair (which makes me feel cool like Pocahontas), eating my apple, I was smiling. I laughed to myself just because I couldn’t believe I did it. I laughed because I was happy. I decided that today was going to be a good day from the very beginning. And it is! I feel great! I admit that this thing that was bothering me is still there in the back of my heart, but for the most part, I feel great. I’m excited to be back where I was. Happy.

I have this quote on my desktop at work.

*“Don’t give up. It’s just the weight of the world.”

*”Peace be until thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment. And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high”… “Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands.”

Life is good my friends. If we decide today that it is.

*”Change is nature.. .the part that we can influence. And it starts when we decide.”

For your enjoyment – here’s a video of a little girl giving herself positive affirmation.

(My favorite part is 0:30.)

Pardon my movie quotes. It's a habit.

*Monsters Inc.

*Enchanted
*Princess Diaries

*♫ Don’t Give Up – Josh Groban

*Doctrine and Covenants 121: 7-9

*Ratatouille